I have had a decent amount of casual relationships (see: fuck buddy) over the years and until recently, I haven't had much interest in a traditional relationship. So generally, I prefer to find someone who desires the same type of relationships. I don't bother lying about my intentions, so you have to find someone in the same frame of mind. Over the years, I've had several of these relationships and they generally last anywhere from a few months to several years. They generally end when the woman begins desiring a traditional relationship. This is completely reasonable and expected, for the most part. I wait out their attempts, come back when they fail and congratulate and move on when they succeed.
These are fuck buddies in the truest sense. Very little outside social interaction. About once a week or so, we hang out, fuck and I go home or vice versa. I would consider them friends, but it's not really a "friend" thing. It's not someone you're hanging out with on a regular basis, sharing deep introspections and ruminating about life. I have other female (and male) friends that fill that role.
Here's the issue: When these casual relationships end because she finds someone else to date her traditionally, EVERY ONE of these women expect me to slide immediately into a "close platonic friend" role. I have no issue remaining acquaintances and in some rare cases, even friends that I might hang out with occasionally. But am I alone, as a man, in finding it almost impossible to view a woman with whom I have had literally no interaction other than sex as anything other than a sex partner? I can't make this transition easily at all. I try very hard because this is a person with feelings and they deserve consideration. They deserve to be more than a fuck buddy.
But do they? Isn't that what we've been to each other for months and years? And isn't the emotional connection now supplied by the current man in her life? Am I wrong in feeling that the fact that she's successfully replaced my sex with her new man covers that need, making the friendship much easier of a transition as she now finds herself very content? I've put a great deal of thought into it because I am at least still kind acquaintances with almost everyone I've dated and I hate hurting people. But for me, it's nearly impossible to just pretend it's really smooth viewing them in a completely different way on a moment's notice.
These are fuck buddies in the truest sense. Very little outside social interaction. About once a week or so, we hang out, fuck and I go home or vice versa. I would consider them friends, but it's not really a "friend" thing. It's not someone you're hanging out with on a regular basis, sharing deep introspections and ruminating about life. I have other female (and male) friends that fill that role.
Here's the issue: When these casual relationships end because she finds someone else to date her traditionally, EVERY ONE of these women expect me to slide immediately into a "close platonic friend" role. I have no issue remaining acquaintances and in some rare cases, even friends that I might hang out with occasionally. But am I alone, as a man, in finding it almost impossible to view a woman with whom I have had literally no interaction other than sex as anything other than a sex partner? I can't make this transition easily at all. I try very hard because this is a person with feelings and they deserve consideration. They deserve to be more than a fuck buddy.
But do they? Isn't that what we've been to each other for months and years? And isn't the emotional connection now supplied by the current man in her life? Am I wrong in feeling that the fact that she's successfully replaced my sex with her new man covers that need, making the friendship much easier of a transition as she now finds herself very content? I've put a great deal of thought into it because I am at least still kind acquaintances with almost everyone I've dated and I hate hurting people. But for me, it's nearly impossible to just pretend it's really smooth viewing them in a completely different way on a moment's notice.